4 words: hood of his car
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
The adults are the big ones right?
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize