They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Randomize