What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
