i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
