for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
