I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
