Screwed.edu
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Send help, water and tortillas.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
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