I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Randomize
