I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
