So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
