It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize