I hate all girls vehemently.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize