Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
