Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize
