So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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