never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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