Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
