Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
