How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize