I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
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