I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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