Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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