So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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