I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Randomize
