If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize