Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
The beer is more important than you right now.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
