There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
