Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
