It's Friday. Sex?
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
