OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
don't judge my taste in strippers
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
