if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize