dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
