Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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