toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
