Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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