her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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