Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
my sisters under your porch take her home
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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