There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize
