the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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