i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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