It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
