Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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