going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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