just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
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