i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
