i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
