He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
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