She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
