I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
