Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
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