the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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