so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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