i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
