my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Randomize
