we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
I miss vodka workout Fridays
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
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