who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize
