is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
