tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
