Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
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