I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
