I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
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