just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
