Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
