I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Randomize
