doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
