this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
