Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Randomize
