I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Someone signed my nipple.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
