forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
