i came on her dog
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
