hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Randomize
