Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
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