It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize
